Gonnas: Remembering What Matters

Yesterday saw me getting about 50% of my gonnas done. I got distracted by my sister’s presence and found myself watching old home movies instead. Normally I kick myself in the ass a little when I miss a goal, but I couldn’t feel bad about laughing at my baby accent and my sister’s baby face.

I’ve always been a little lax about the terms I give myself when reaching for a goal, whether that goal is to lose 10 pounds or to get out of bed for the day. While this method sometimes finds me lackadaisically draped over any piece of furniture that will hold my laptop and I, it also means I don’t lose sight of the fact that even the biggest goal is still not as important as some key people, places, things, or moments in my life.

Sometimes it’s more important to watch old documents of your childhood than to keep sending in new ones  about your adulthood. Sometimes it’s okay to put down the pen or the book or the mouse, and stop working. The professional/scary/stupid real world will always be waiting, but you don’t get that same 100%-guarantee with your family, your friends, or even your beloved, slightly overweight pet.

While giving up on your gonnas is unacceptable, not letting them rule you is also important. The only person who should be in charge of your day is you, not some dumbass set of standards you thought would be appropriate when you wrote it down earlier that day. Yes, it sucks when you don’t get to cross out those to-do’s with a Sharpie, but it also really sucks when you miss out on whatever’s going on around you because you’re too rigid to bend.

Today I’m gonna:

  • Go to the chiropractor
  • Visit my dad
  • Run errands
  • Apply for jobs
  • Really finish “Memoirs of a Beatnik”

And you know what? If I don’t get to finish crossing out the rest of my gonnas, that’s okay. It means that something important popped up in the moment, and I didn’t miss a second of it.

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