Writing this is going to mean revealing a deep, dark secret of mine, but this just has to be said: “Glee” sucks.
How do I know? Because, well, I was a die-hard Gleek thanks to season one. I own all of the soundtracks from that season, and regret to inform the general public that I know them by heart. It’s a little hard to stomach that confession, knowing the show is the train wreck Lindsay Lohan it is now.
I loved the show for simple reasons. I liked the mix of broadway and pop music, the characters were funny and lovable, and there was a consistent flow to the storyline. Now it is a mess. Kinda like a Jackson Pollack painting but without the art.
Now the show is filled with 90% atrocious music, way too many characters, and story arcs no one gives a shit about. Everything is essentially a shitty rewrite of a better season one story arc. No one cares that Mercedes is pissed off again. No one cares that Quinn sucks at everything. No one cares that Puck got fat.
And what was that whole Gwyneth Paltrow thing about last season? She has a sub-par voice and her character is one of the most horrible people in the world.
It’s hypocritical that I keep watching and have the audacity to write this, but there are about three characters I still care about. My favorite character this season is Kurt Hummel’s dad, and I think that’s a love that goes back to “G.U.T.S.,” so I don’t even know how much credit I can give the writers of “Glee.” I wait for him, and the other few characters that are anywhere near interesting, with baited breath between ghastly musical performances. For a show where music is supposed to be relevant, I find myself fast forwarding through the songs and finding that I didn’t miss a thing by doing so.
What the hell are they singing anyway? Panic! at the Disco? I really don’t know, and the fact that I don’t care enough anymore to Google what songs they are says more than I ever could with words. For all of this, I blame one person: Ryan Murphy.
Ryan Murphy has this horribly bad habit of taking a goldmine of a show and ruining it. Does anyone remember how awesome “Nip/Tuck” was before it nose-dived into fucking insanity? Probably not. It’s most likely overshadowed by your memory of that really weird episode that turned into a musical in the last 10 minutes. Why? What the hell does that have to do with plastic surgeons? Oh, right, NOTHING!
Ryan Murphy does what Ryan Murphy wants. He left “Nip/Tuck” to start “Glee,” and basically didn’t care what that meant for the viewers of the former. I thought that maybe millions of tweens’ fragile little hearts could cure the Murphy Beast from destroying “Glee,” but sure enough, he’s steamrolling right over the story lines that everyone wants to see for the story lines he wants to do. “American Horror Story” is pretty dope, but I don’t even want to start watching it for fear that he will turn it into some shitty remake of “Bewitched” before the end of it all.
I know it can’t possibly be easy to write a successful show and hit the mark every episode, but the fact that the most likable characters are getting Oliver Twist worthy portions of screen time because of one person is insulting. You are the George W. Bush of TV, Ryan Murphy, and your mission is NOT accomplished.