It starts reluctantly in the back of your head. You fight it for a long time, maybe a reallllly long time until you have to admit to yourself what you’ve pretty much known all along:
That stupid, fucking cookie cutter pop song you have been talking mad shit about is so amazing it’s like Angelina Jolie and God had a baby and put it inside your ears.
Sometimes you hear it on the radio a few too many times and look down one day to find yourself tapping your foot to the beat. Other times you look up the YouTube video to make fun of it and find an amazing video like this to end all things ever. Oh, and get you hooked on the song along the way:
I have hated this song since I previewed it on iTunes in a total music snob move. “I’M GONNA MAKE FUN OF ALL THESE ASSHOLES THAT MADE THIS SONG NUMBER TWO!!!! HAHAHAHA, THEY’RE SO FUNNY, THOSE SHEEP!!!!!”
Yeah, well, now I have to crawl back inside my shame cave, ’cause I just dropped a dollar ninety-nine on that same song. I’ll be back out when I’ve listened to “Call Me Maybe” approximately 87 times and learned enough of the lyrics to mumble along the next time some drunk sorostitute plays it at the bar.
I used to be able to resist the call of tweeny ladies and gents and their moronic songs, but as I get older, I find it harder to put up a fight.
“Yoü and I?” Fuck it, I guess I’ll rescind my statement that all of Lady Gaga’s sophomore album was a pile of steaming garbage and rock out inside my car. “We Found Love?” That’s fine, I’ll listen to it every day even though I really honestly DON’T like Rihanna’s voice and that bitch gets on my nerves, but oh SHIT, I guess I like that “S&M” song, too, what is wrong with me?!?!
I shall retire my last semblance of music pretention and donate it to someone who deserves it. This gal is a shameless mainstream sheep. At least I’ll be cozy (and look fabulous) in my wool.
What are your guilty pleasure tunes?