Things I Wish I Could Tell My Teenage Self

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If you read #13, you’ll immediately know which one is me.

1. Stop picking away at your eyebrows. Your naturally big brows are beautiful (and gonna make a comeback).

2. STEP AWAY FROM THAT TANNING BED!

3. You don’t have any sense of style yet, so stop asking for crappy name-brand trash.

4. Your mom is always right.

5. So is your dad. He’s just a little more harsh about it because he’s logical, and you’re his baby girl.

6. Stop trying to impress boys. The ones that matter will evolve to your level one day and the ones that don’t just aren’t worth it.

7. Make more time for your own interests, not those of your friends or people pretending to be friends.

8. Blue and white sparkly eyeshadow… just stop.

9. Glitter belts, Tims, and velour are also just not things. No.

10. Don’t drink so much. It’s dumb, and your favorite memories will come from sober or tipsy moments, not trashed ones.

11. You have no responsibilities, nor have you had to work hard at all thanks to natural talent, so stop complaining. The hardest has yet to come.

12. You’re not fat, so SHUT UP ALREADY!

13. That being said, there is literally no reason your li’l teen pudge should be sticking out of EVERY SHIRT YOU WEAR. STAHP!!!

14. That girl and that boy and that girl and that boy are all going to backstab you in the most horrific way. It’ll hurt to your core, but years later, you will be far more educated and well-off because of them.

15. You are never going to feel this rested again, so drink. it. in.

16. Snuggle your disproportionately large boobs all day, every day. They’re going away in like 8 years, and you’re going to miss them like hell.

17. You are a jackass…….. well, at least you were from around 14-15. Wait. Nevermind. I forgot that you stopped giving in to peer pressure pretty early, which is actually pretty cool. Go on, girlfriend. (Just know that years from now you’ll always regret that year of being the worst.)

18. Hang out with your family more, dude! Only like 9 of those friends of yours are going to actually make an effort to be loyal and stay in your life.

19. Remember all that drama you were in? Don’t worry about it ’cause you were 100% justified, stood up for what you believed in, and the folks who were involved have yet to evolve from the same behavior.

20. Stop worrying. Your life, while very sad and challenging at times, is going to be better than you ever imagined with potential to keep growing. It will be full of healthy relationships, success, and puppies. Lots and lots of puppies.

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