New Blog Address!

I’ve never been good at committing to buying a .com for the blog, but after a wonderful year-ish with WordPress, I finally felt comfortable using it as my forever platform.

So, for the last time, if you wanna keep following via email or bookmark the new page, etc., etc., go to THIS link:

There is a new place to subscribe via email there, as well as add it to your reader as usual thanks to WordPress. All the social media icons are in ONE place at the top — simply click the one you want to go to and/or follow, and there you are!

It’s still under construction, but all the blog posts are there, as well as a NEW one! I will get this site redirected there within two weeks, so even if you don’t subscribe, etc., you will still be seeing the new page. I just wanted to give everyone a head’s up and time to get their ducks in a row before I did!

Thanks so much, lovelies. I can’t wait to keep growing with y’all ❤


Bravery in the Blog

I may not know much, or hell, even that much at all, but at least I know I’m brave.

I’m brave enough to speak my opinions, whether my readers will agree or not.

I’m brave enough to show my humanity through happiness, anger, sadness, bitching, etc. because I won’t pretend to feel a way others deem “acceptable” just to make said folks comfortable.

I’m brave enough to keep going, despite so many people telling me to stop because “nothing will ever come of this space.”

I’m brave enough to disconnect from people, no matter who they are, who don’t get why I would choose a blog over a career that doesn’t accept what the blog has to say.

I’m brave enough to say e.x.a.c.t.l.y. what I’m thinking.

I’m brave enough to come here and write anything–even the uncomfortable stuff–and sign my name to it.

So why, why, why, is one of you hiding behind the anonymity of the Internet, trying to infiltrate my life? Why are you wasting your time? I will always be here whether you want me to be or not. I may change the blog’s interface or subject matter or header 89 times, but I, the author, will still stand behind it, no matter those changes. I will be here, tall and unwavering, no matter what warfare you’re inexplicably trying to start. In fact, many of the things you’ve tried to accomplish over TWO ENTIRE YEARS have never, ever worked. Let it go or stop reading, plain and simple.

I’m brave enough to say without hesitation that you are a coward. You are someone who has some great void in life, and you fill it with hate instead of newfound interests or love. You are someone who has nothing better to do with your time than to type comments or send emails from behind a veil.

I get it. I certainly would be bored if I couldn’t say precisely what I desired to or confront someone face-to-face. But maybe, just maybe, you could try to be brave. Whatever your problem is, you will never solve it behind that curtain of hate, that security blanket of secrecy, that misdirected keyboard thrashing.

I’m even brave enough to forgive you if you ever want to join us in the Land of the Free Thinkers. If not, just stay in your lane, and let the rest of us write and live our lives to the fullest.


Hey, so, I’m not one to berate other women, but when you’re putting the feminist cause back, like, 50 years, I’m gonna need ya to pipe down.

So when I found this intensely infuriating Thought Catalog entry titled “50 Ways to Be a Woman,” I wanted to scream “HAVE A VAGINA?!?! OR NOT?! IT DOESN’T REALLY MATTER BECAUSE IF YOU IDENTIFY AS A WOMAN, YOU ARE ONE!!!!!!!!!”

But instead, I thought I should give public, livid, and perhaps humorous retaliations to all 50 pieces of advice on how to be a rEAl WomAn!*~ You will actually have to read the prior-mentioned demeaning piece of journalism to understand my responses, but if you don’t have the time, that’s cool.

1. Practice good personal grooming habits because we are all humans with noses, and it’s kinda nice to not make other humans vomit because you smell like toe cheese. Also, “take care of your body ’cause you only get one” is probably the best reason to wear sunscreen and bathe.

2. Dress however the shit you want.

3. Fashion staples are a basic thing in life if you care about style… but not having them doesn’t make you less of a woman or a man or an alien with 25 purple heads.

4. Say thank you all the time because that’s how the world works. You don’t have to go through some elaborate song-and-dance to do so. Do whatever shows appreciation for the person at hand.

5. Don’t sit on your ass and let shit happen that sucks.

6. Don’t spend your money like a child whose just won the lottery would.

7. Don’t talk about things you don’t know about aka get an education, and don’t let anyone tell you one type of education is less than another.

8. Hold your ground when assfaces try to sway you from yourself.

9. For some reason, there’s more about education here. I think the best way to be educated is to be in-the-know about what’s offensive as fuck to women of all types if you’re going to write an article about them.

10. Apparently women can’t handle their liquor so they should either be cool drinkers or non-drinkers. NO MIDDLE-GROUND HERE, LADIES. WE’RE EITHER LUSHES OR WE’RE SAINTS!!!! Jk, drink what you want, how you want as long as you’re being healthy and if you need help, ask for it.

11. High heels make you sexy so walk in them or something. Or don’t or something. How about you wear whatever you want to wear, okay girl? I don’t care if you can’t walk in them. Whoever does is a dick.

12. ALERT, ALERT: THE ONLY WAY FOR A MAN TO TREAT YOU LIKE A HUMAN SHOULD TREAT A HUMAN IS TO ACT LADYLIKE! …… except that if a human doesn’t treat you like a human, that’s on them, not you. And even though I am far from always being on my June Cleaver, my boyfriend is still doing things like opening the doors for me and respecting me and treating me to dinner, soooo… theory of gentleman-hood disproven, Catilin?

13. Yeah, you should keep your business to yourself, especially if you have weird opinions about what “being a woman” is. You’ll have a happier life that way. But what does that have to do with being a “real” woman? NOTHING, BABY; NOTHING.

14. No, you won’t agree with everyone. Yes, you should avoid conflict. But when someone is an asshole, spreading their gospel like it’s fact, you should definitely say something to them. Or, if you don’t know them, you should write a blog to say “HEY CAITLIN, I HAVE AN ISSUE WITH YOUR PATRIARCHAL-INDOCTRINATED VIEW OF WHAT WOMANHOOD IS!” Don’t be a doormat just to look “lady-like.”

15. Share whatever the hell you want on social media. You’re smart enough to figure out what will fly and what won’t with the people in your circle. Some of us don’t really care if it flies or not; that’s no mark of femininity.

16. Yeah, ask for help…. from anyone, of any sex, gender, non-gender, race, orientation, religion, etc. That’s, uh, how humans survive?

17. Answer your phone how you want. Answer your phone at work differently. If you hate the phone, don’t answer it. Glad we got that one handled.

18. Be kind to humans because the struggle is real. All humans. Of all creeds. Not just women.

19. Find faith or don’t, brah, just don’t push it in anyone’s face.

20. HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHA. Ah, sorry. This is the one I found funniest. It was about not confining yourself to gender stereotypes but not “defying them for sport.” I dunno about you, but this is extremely offensive, and I refuse to acknowledge it as a thing that a human would actually say.

21. Don’t be a sore loser, like when you write an article that is an epic fail.

22. Be who you want to be so you find yourself fun. Fuck anyone who thinks you’re uninteresting; your life is about YOU.

23. BE THE HERO THAT GOTHAM DESERVES! Wait, what? I got confused.

24. This is another thing about not being a doormat. I’m reiterating it because it’s good to not be a doormat, especially if you’re being told you’re not a “real woman” because you don’t fit some arbitrary, bullshit list of criteria.

25. Leave your legs wide open. Cross them so tight you can’t uncross them. Shape them into a pretzel. Lift them above your head. Do whatever you want with your own god damn legs.

26. Another repeat–this is the third pair–about not lowering your standards. You shouldn’t, but remember: to be a woman, there are no standards!

27. Do what you love. Don’t waste your life doing stuff you hate.

28. Follow the rules or don’t, just don’t hurt other people.

29. Oh. My. God. DON’T talk about Becky’s butt. That’s mean body-shaming and no one likes you. But if you do, that doesn’t mean you’re suddenly a bearded dragon instead of a female.

30. Don’t let your sig other define you, but also don’t assume that everyone is straight and has a “boyfriend” or “husband.” Open your eyes to the beautiful spectrum of people in this world who love each other.

31. I don’t think a woman has gone to college actively seeking a mate and a mate only in a solid number of decades, so for this one I will say: don’t repeat old adages (that aren’t technically adages anymore) as fact.

32. *See #20 for my reaction to basically the same offensive statement.

33. There IS a time and place for everything… like not EVER telling the whole Internet that you only view women who do {insert weird, outdated list here} as women

34. Laugh. Most importantly at this woman’s awful advice.

35. Find beauty in every day by finding the beauty in all types of women, not just women who wear pearls and cross their legs.

36. Be happy if you can. If you’re not, that’s okay, too. Some of us are depressed and need drugs to help us feel happy which is apparently “unattractive,” but it’s okay. We all know by now that this list is the biggest pile of malarky since Joe Biden called Paul Ryan on all of his in 2012.

37. Yes, please do put yourself (and whatever version of a woman you are) first.

38. Ah, the old stay-at-home versus career-woman debate. I knew it was coming. Either one is fine. In-betweens are fine. Completely different things are fine. What you do does not a woman make.

39. She actually caught herself on #38 and tried to remedy it on #39. Yay?


41. No, you shouldn’t be afraid of being a woman or wearing pink, but I fucking hate pink. So I will still embrace my femininity by wearing whatever I want. I will also embrace the chosen level of femininity my fellow women do or do not feel comfortable with, whether that has jackshit to do with the color PINK.

42. Uh, yeah, I think we all know by now all the women who independent throw your hands up at ‘Yonce. But there’s not a specific thing that makes someone more independent, really. For some, independence is just being able to walk on their own, so check yo’ privilege. (Also, WHO ARE YOU THAT SOMEONE IS TRYING TO PUMP GAS FOR YOU SO LATE IN YOUR LIFE? WHERE IS THIS PLACE? PLEASANTVILLE? WHERE ARE YOU? DO YOU NEED HELP?!?!)

43. This is a reminder (uh-hum… repetition) that you shouldn’t spend your money like a dickweed.

44. HELL YEAH, DO NOT BE AFRAID TO SAY NO! There you go, gal. Now you’re getting somewhere. Say no to things you don’t want to do as furiously as you would say no to unwanted sexual advances from another human. You have every right as a woman to say no to AN. Y. THING.

45. I think #44 is where this girl starts realizing the entirety of what she just wrote was incredibly horrible, because this is about being a fortress against manipulation. Then again, this implies that we are easily manipulated, sooooo…..

46. “BE AN ADVOCATE FOR OTHER WOMEN. WE ARE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER.” Now Caitlin’s talking. We are in this together, which is why I felt so incredibly cut by this article. I thought of my friends who had never felt good enough before thanks to men or other women or non-gendered folks, and it made me furious that a woman would… AGAIN… be shooting other women down with her impossible (and not truly applicable) standards. So Caitlin, I’m sorry if this bites and stings, but you have to know that what you wrote is the OPPOSITE of this, THE most important number on your “real woman” list.

47. I think the best thing to say here is never let a human make you feel inferior, and never let other humans make others feel inferior as well.

48. YAS, BITCH, YAS! Be a role model for other women. Be a role model for men. Be a role model for every different kind of gender and sex and all the in-betweens we have. Start by not being a douche, then take it from there.

49. Ugh, Caitlin, NO! You had made so much progress. It doesn’t matter if you’re going to be a mom or a Sunday school teacher or the first female pope or a dinosaur on Mars, you have no one to answer to but yourself about how you live. Yes, care about what your choices will do to you and the people around you you give two shits about, but other than that, if you look too far down the road, what stories will you have to tell your kids or students or the Martians when you’re old? Be you, and don’t worry about your mistakes. Everyone, even women, makes mistakes. Don’t let them rule you or your decisions.

50. RESPECT YOURSELF……. but also respect others and the way they live their life. Respect the life they were born into and the lives they have created. Respect women from all walks of life. Respect women who are transitioning. Respect women who are struggling. Respect women with vaginas. Respect women without vaginas. Respect women enough to never, ever, ever tell them they are not good enough.

You’re welcome for my sage advice. Also, you’re a woman if you feel you are, end of story! You don’t need 50 rules from me or anyone else. Now go on girl. Do yo’ thang. xo, Reyonce

2014: In Review (for Reyonce, the blog!)

You may not be all that into this entry if you’re not a blogger and/or Internet junkie like most of us who hang around the water cooler at the ‘Press, but I love the gorgeous way the stats were presented to me, so I wanted to share them. OH, and a HUGE thank you to those of you who commented like crazy, shared my blog all the time, and overall helped to create these pretty neat numbers. I had over 100,000 views at my last blog-hosting site, and I’m truly not disappointed with these additional 6,000 since I switched this year! My readers, you are the magnificents!

The stats helper monkeys prepared a 2014 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A New York City subway train holds 1,200 people. This blog was viewed about 6,300 times in 2014. If it were a NYC subway train, it would take about 5 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

Happy (and safe) New Year’s Eve to all of you… see you in 2015!

Liebster Award 2014

I cherish when I am running low on creativity and inspiration, and something just drops out of thin air to take care of the problem! This time around, my friend Kerrie over at Snow5Hundred nominated me for the Liebster Award, which makes me feel all kinds of fluffy inside. I adore bloggers promoting other bloggers… ADORE IT! Liebster means lots of lovely things in German (including lovely), and here are the rules for the blogging-based award that have evolved over time.

So without further ado, here’s my mini Q&A for y’all to enjoy, especially if you’re new here!

1. Why do you blog?

Writing isn’t just my passion/craft, it’s in my DNA. My grandma is a writer. My parents are writers. My aunt is a writer. My sister is a writer. It’s in the genes, you know?

I began writing at a small age, often with my friends (a large majority of whom are also writers). We would whip up horror stories, songs for musicals, and even movie scripts, which we would then turn into the real deal with the world’s largest camcorder. I wrote a book every year and won a couple of awards through the Young Writers program.

I jumped on the blogging train very early without realizing it (thanks, Xanga). It started as an outlet solely for me to write down my day-to-day. It evolved over the years, eventually moving to Tumblr where I was able to sort of hone the craft and make it a little more about community and a little less about me. And then, while shooting the shit with my mom, the idea for the Gonnas was born. From there, it was history.

While I could not imagine NOT writing short stories, novels, and screenplays in my spare time, there’s nothing like the interaction between a blogger and her audience. You build a community. You get to use all different mediums and test all sorts of features with immediate feedback. And maybe, if you’re lucky, you find your niche and even more fulfilling, your voice.

I write because I have to. I blog because I love it.

2. What is your favorite ice cream flavor?

This is like asking a mother her favorite child. You love mint chocolate chip for its simplicity, but you can’t get over the richness of {insert any type of gelato here}. You obsess over the swirls of magic in Liz Lemon, but dream about trips to Baskin Robbins. I would possibly be able to answer this question under threat of death……….. possibly.

3. Share your favorite quote.

Again, hard to say. Quotes are my lifeblood on a horrific day. How about my favorite aka most inspiring for this present moment in time? Sound good?? Good!

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” – Albert Einstein

4. Describe your perfect date.

“That’s a tough one. I’d have to say April 25. Because it’s not too hot, not too cold… all you need is a light jacket!”

… ah, I deflect my indecisiveness with humor as usual. I suppose I’m an all-or-nothing girl. Give me a completely relaxed date {camping out inside on the bed with lots of food and movies or a quiet hike on the BRP in crappy clothes} or go all out {5-course meals, spontaneous trips to magical places, camp under the stars and watch the sunrise, etc}. I don’t mind the in-betweens, but it’s those no-effort or all-effort dates that really stick with me. As J will tell you, though, I remember almost everything about my relationships (ere-go date details) with annoying accuracy, so I suppose any date that didn’t involve injury or heartbreak would jive as great in my mind.

5. How do you show love to others?

This truly depends on the person, but I think if a random poll were to be taken by my loved ones, they’d all say I’ve written them notes from the heart and given them a handmade gift at some point or another. I also give lots of unwarranted physical attention to those I love. Sorry for all those boob honks, Mom. You’re just so squeezable. (Just steer clear of my mouth. I also like to bite people I love. How my sister’s adorable, perfect, little nose-tip is still attached to her, I will never know.)

+ + +

I now nominate my sisters-in-blogging, Killary Scales, Kaceyamanda, Adrasteia’s Labyrinth, plus my real sis, Worm the Germ. Oh, and Marvelous-Darling if she fits the under-200 subscriber rule… but she gets some pretty heavy traffic over on that fab blog of hers (TEARS OF PRIDE RUNNING ALL OVER MY FACE)!

My questions for you, my beautiful starfish, are:

  1. What’s your favorite part about being a blogger?
  2. If you could only eat three foods for the rest of your life, what dishes would they be and why?
  3. What’s been your most life-changing moment so far?
  4. If you had the chance to write for a full-time job, would you? Why or why not?
  5. Describe the one scene from anything (movie, book, show, etc.) that can always make you laugh, even when you’re feeling like you’re in the bottom of a ghastly pit.

Keep calm and Liebster on, friends.


My posts here lately have been erratic at best despite the fact that writing, especially on this blog, is my passion. I have found over the years, and especially over the past few months, that the world does not make it easy to follow your passions. Now, it’s not that I believe I’ve stumbled upon some revelatory idea, brand new to human kind… it’s just that I think we don’t really acknowledge this aspect of our culture or how shitty of an aspect it actually is. Worse, we don’t try to actively change this aspect of American culture because it’s too hard, and we’re too tired from living to work. What happened to working to live?

I’m tired of the former and dedicating my energy to the latter from now on. I can’t make a life by continually chasing the work horse I have never been able to catch, even after years of experience. I can, however, make a life out of my passions by making them a priority.

That means a lot of dedication and shifting of priorities is in order, and hope, hope, hopefully you’ll see those behind-the-scene changes reflected on the front pages of this blog.


However, it also means I have to ask a lot out of you: patience as I find my stride. Understanding as I slip away from my personal life to focus on my dreams. Forgiveness if I make mistakes in a post, can’t immediately return a favor, and/or any other blunder as I stumble along a new path. Dependability, maybe even when I don’t deserve it. Support as I try to build an online community (including all of you!).

I may not get what I desire out of this new shift in behavior, but if I don’t try, if I don’t ask, if I don’t work at giving it a shot, then how can I ever know if I ever had something worth sharing?


I know this won’t grow into what I continually dream of overnight, and I know I’ve rededicated myself to this blog a million times. But that’s because it means something. If it didn’t, I would have chucked it in the garbage by now and walked away without hesitation. But I know that, even though a lot of great things pop up in an instant, many more of them take years to cultivate, to hone, to perfect, to make them greater than they would have been if success had come immediately.

There’s still time, and I’m seizing it.


Perfect Alignment

Not too long ago, I wrote about my struggle with success in my passions, pinpointing this blog as a major piece in Strugglecity, USA. I’m not suddenly signed to an agency or unexpectedly inundated with advertising deals, but things lately seem to be simply falling in the holes that once riddled my career plans. Though there are many still to fill in, the change has been healing, noticeable.

First, there was the job search gone bad. As Maria said, when God closes a door, somewhere he opens a window. I took the rejections as a chance to jump through that newly opened window to focus on the job I’m trying to cultivate.

During a trip to the beach for a cleansing mini-vacay, I read six variations of my horoscope*, all of them telling me that my chance at career happiness was near. Like within the next month near. *(Whether or not astrology is actually a thing is yet to be determined.)

Though plenty has gone wrong – losing Robin, phone loss, housing ups and downs, one very sick pup, and all the minutiae in between – there has always been someone or something around the corner to pick me up.

An “it’ll come through, babe.”

A beautiful day filled with sunshine and creativity.

A “you’re going to find what you want, I know it!”

An article that says no plan B means no failure.

A sign.

So many signs.

As I walked into my Saka class last night, I was feeling the strain of the little shit, the things that shouldn’t get me down but do. Patrice looked around and lingered on me for a moment before speaking.

“I just want to… I just want to say something tonight. If you’re like me, if you’ve got a passion for something and it’s just not working out, whether that be a business, a friendship, or a marriage, I’d like you to put all your faith in that. I’d like you to put your whole heart into what you’re passionate about. I’m doing the same thing with this, and I want you to do it with me and see what putting your whole faith in gets out for you, for all of us.”

I held back the tears while smiling. It was exactly what I needed to hear.

When I got home, I caught up on my usual blogs, and found this quote on TSC:


The Skinny Confidential


For once, things seem to be perfectly aligning on their own. And for once, I’m just going to follow the alignment instead of trying to take control. For once, I’m going to put my full faith in.

Get ready, readers.

I know I am.

Williams Wednesday

This www. Wednesday is a special tribute to the warm man we all loved who finally escaped a pained life. I’m glad he’s found peace, and truly hope this changes the stigma against suicide, depression, and mental health in general. However, I wish this tragedy isn’t what it took for this country to do so…

What Robin Taught Us All:

1. Live life to the fullest, no matter how short.



2. Fulfill your dreams, but don’t forget your heart.


Good Will Hunting

3. Stay close to your family, no matter what it takes.


Mrs. Doubtfire

4. Fight for true love; it’s worth it.


What Dreams May Come

5. Laugh, even when it hurts, because it’ll always make life a little better.


Patch Adams

6. Put your friends’ needs before you when you know they need what you have.



7. Be environmentally conscious.



8. Always feed your inner child… aka grow older, but never grow up.



9. Keep learning forever, not just about sciences, but about the arts and the written word.


10. Life will go on, even with horrendous curveballs like losing our beloved Robin.


Life According to Garp

…And so much more. We’ll never forget you, Robin!

New Features Are Coming!

Hey there, lovelies! Thanks for always coming back to read whatever my heart tells me to spill out on this website, even when what it tells me is something really damn strange. That’s why y’all are the best readers ever!!

I’ve got some new features coming out soon, so the prep time it will take to create them means you might feel like I’ve abandoned you, but I can assure you that I’m right here!

Coming soon:
Best of…
OOTT (acronym to later be explained 😉 )
Book lists and reviews
+ more!

The old features like the Gonnas and www. Wednesday will still be here, but they need some pals to party with, so prepare yourselves for new content on the lifestyle blog of Reyonce!

Love you like xo. Like enough to show you this picture.


Why It’s Okay to Invest In Yourself

I recently have made purchases or general actions that have left some folks guessing.

“Can you afford that?”
“Is that smart?”
“Why couldn’t you move to B instead of A?”

Well, I could just say eff those people, but I don’t think they mean me ill will; I simply think they just don’t understand the concept and benefits behind investing in yourself.

Now, I’m not talking about making random, small purchases of shit you don’t need or impulse buys you’ll only end up regretting. I’m talking about staple pieces of any category that will serve one purpose only: bettering yourself and your brand.

Sometimes it’s hard to know the difference, so here are some questions you should use to approach each of these investment pieces:

1.) Will I make my money back?
No matter the item, there are ways to get the money back you spent. New dress gets you that job you wanted? Paid for. Those pillowcases show up on a blog entry that gets you tons o’ traffic? Paid for again. You see the pattern — use it!

2.) Will this item improve at least two areas of my life?
It’s simple: investment pieces need to multitask. Your new birthday outfit needs to be able to turn into a work outfit with a cardi or leggings, etc. Any new furniture needs to double as storage space (or have the ability to do so). Two areas of your life or MORE need to see some return from your purchase.

3.) Will this last for more than a season?
Is the item quality? Simply put, better materials, no matter the item, last longer. Your wallet might hurt for a moment, but it will ultimately cost you the same, if not more, to keep buying that same item made of cheaper materials.

4.) Will this further my personal brand positively?
Sometimes an item will only meet one of the above criteria, but you still feel compelled to buy that new tablet or pair of shoes. If you can assure yourself that your purchase will increase the brand you’ve made for yourself, whether you’re a blogger or a fitness instructor or a lawyer, than the purchase is a credible one. After all, the more valuable your personal brand, the more likely questions 1-3 will be applicable to the purchase later down the road!

5.) Will this benefit my self-worth and overall growth?
Most importantly, can you grow using this investment? That’s what putting money in now is all about: return with interest. Will you be able to find more financial freedom with this item? Will you be able to set up your dream job? Will you be able to come out at the end with more than you put in? Should the answer be yes, you’ve got yourself a piece worthy of purchase!

Make sure at least three of these questions apply to any investment in yourself to ensure you feel no regret and find true worth in your purchases.

And if anyone doubts you? Hand ’em your card so they can call you when you’ve finished building your empire. It’s up to you whether you answer or not 😉

Here are some of my recent investment pieces. What are yours?